Year end / and the beginning of a new year is a great time to take stock of your life, celebrate your accomplishments, and make plans for changes in the areas of your life where you’d like to be more happy and fulfilled.
A Personal Retreat is a rejuvenating method for reflection and life planning, that you can do by yourself – or with friends. Taking an afternoon – or a day – for a thoughtful look at where your life is now, and where you want it to go, will help you enter the new year, clear, focused, and grounded.
The following article explains how to have your own personal retreat. If you have questions, if you’d like a more in-depth explanation, or if you just like to follow along with an audio, Janet Taylor of “Totally Organized” radio and I have created an hour-long conversation on this topic at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/janettaylor/2009/12/14/2009-goals-year-end-reflections. I discuss the questions and we offer tips and examples. You can play the audio as many times as you wish, pause it while you write, and even download the interview onto your iPod!
What you will need:
- A quiet location where you won’t be disturbed
- Three of more hours to reflect and write
- Pen and paper for journaling
Start with a centering and relaxing activity: a brief meditation, listening to music, dancing, taking a hot bath – or just taking some deep breaths – whatever works for you.
Then ask yourself the following questions, taking time to contemplate and writing the answers:
1. What were your finest moments over the past year? What did you accomplish? Think about when you were proud of yourself, when you did something well, had a positive impact on someone else’s life, solved a problem.
2. What were your biggest disappointments? Remember when you disappointed yourself, or were disappointed by others; when your expectations weren’t met. When your dreams weren’t fulfilled.
3. What did you learn? Looking at your answers to the first two questions, ask yourself what worked, and what would you like to do differently.
What would you like to do differently?
4. How am you getting in your own way? One of the biggest obstacles to success are the negative thoughts and feelings you may hold about your ability to succeed and your worthiness in getting what you want. To get clearer about how you do that answer these questions.
How do you limit yourself?
What do you say to yourself to explain these limitations?
Negative self talk is the voice of your fear and not the truth about you. Pick one of your toughest limiting beliefs and ask yourself – is that true? Really, really, 100% true. You’ll find that even if there’s some truth – it still isn’t a reason for not getting what you want. In the course of 2010, you can make huge strides in changing your negative beliefs. Start with one of the toughest ones and see the difference.
How can you switch that belief to be more empowering?
Write down your new self- belief statement and review it daily (or more often), repeat it to yourself, let it reflect how you talk to others.
5. What are your personal values? Make a list. To get clear, think about how you’d like to be remembered. What would you like to be admired for – or who do you admire – and for what?
How well are you living your values?
6. How satisfied are you in the different areas/roles of your life?
Rate your satisfaction in the following areas of life on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being very satisfied.
If your score is not a 10, think about, and write, what would you need to be, do, or have to raise your level of satisfaction to a 10.
• Career: Consider your career selection, direction and current work.
• Friends/family: You may split these into two categories if you wish.
• Fun/recreation: This includes what re-creates your energy or spirit.
• Health: How healthy are you? Consider weight, level of fitness, energy levels diet, health awareness, being up-to-date on exams, etc.
• Money: Consider income, savings, retirement, debts, and spending habits.
• Personal Growth: This could include intellectual and/or spiritual growth.
• Physical Environment: Consider your home and work environments (you can include vehicle and wardrobe if your wish). Consider clutter, cleanliness, décor. How do these add to or detract from your sense of satisfaction?
• Romance/Significant Other: How satisfied are you with the relationship you have - or don’t have?
• Other: If you have some other category that is not listed and you want to use it, do so. Feel free to invent!
7. Which area(s) of your life will be my major focus next year?If you could put one problem behind me, what would it be? Where do you want a breakthrough? What would make the biggest difference in your life?
8. What are your top goals for the New Year?
You can learn about setting effective goals and about the S.M.A.R.T. Goals model here: http://personaltreasures.blogspot.com/2007/12/resolutions-and-goals-part-2.html. This post also includes a link to another interview with Janet Taylor where I discuss this topic in depth.
9. How can you make sure you achieve your goals?
• Periodically review what you’ve written. Make your goals visible.
• Work on how you’re getting in your own way. Lean to neutralize your negative
inner voice.
• Get support!
Setting and reviewing goals is great, and working on the ways you get in your own way is terrific. However, you’ll multiply your chances of reaching your goals when you add support into the mix, surrounding yourself with people who want to see you succeed and making yourself accountable to them. You’ll also have more fun along the way.
Consider working with a support / accountability partner. Someone you meet with regularly, in person or on the phone and who also wants to accomplish something. Choose someone who is willing to lend an ear to your triumphs and frustrations, who can help you problem solve and who will witness your commitment to actions toward your dream.
Or hire a coach whose skills will help you see broader possibilities, clarify your direction and tap into your strengths, so that your body, mind and spirit are aligned for truly effective action.
Or consider getting group support. Banding with others is a highly effective for many people. People always have more ideas for others than for themselves (because they don’t have to deal with your inner self-doubt) and goal setting support groups can generate tremendous motivating energy and creativity.
Allow others to help you and you’ll multiply your chances for success in reaching your goals.
Whether or not you answer every question in detail, allowing yourself time to reflect is a relaxing and rejuvenating process that will help you have a deeper sense of who you are and your purpose. From that place of clarity, you will find it much easier to create your future, a future that is uniquely rewarding for you.
My very best wishes on a happy and fulfilling New Year.
